I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i can't believe i had my finger in that
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
