that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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