Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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