She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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