Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
