So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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