I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
