My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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