What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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