Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize