You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
