The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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