I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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