I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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