I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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