He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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