Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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