She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize