he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize