Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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