She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize