goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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