I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
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My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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