I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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