I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
