He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
