I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
