i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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