hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
