I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
