Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize