DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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