Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
