He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
