I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
