Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I understand Curling. That high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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