Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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