Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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