So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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