And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
