I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
