i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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