"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
