Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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