Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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