He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
