My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
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Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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