I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
