can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
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You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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