Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
