I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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