Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
