What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
