yea but for you.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
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He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
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How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here