are you so shy because you have an std?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS