Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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