My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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