yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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