Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
