her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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